Growing up fast without a voice only to find it in the most unexpected way
“When life knocks you down, try to land on your back. Because if you can look up, you can get up.” Les Brown” Each life story is different since each life is unique, and yet, our voices are interwoven. Our voices are like a patchwork. Each patch falls exactly where it is supposed to be. Together, the patches become a work of art. Our voices, together, have the power to change our narratives. We have the power to transform not only our lives but that of so many girls and women.
No man is an island
“A few months ago I was in a dark place. A place so dark that I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. I felt as if my life was over and what made it worse was that I couldn’t share how I truly felt with anyone. I feared opening up because that would mean giving people a chance to see what a big failure I was. Little did I know that this was killing me slowly. At the end of my pregnancy I was at high risk as I was diagnosed with high blood pressure (something that I’m still fighting now). I saw no way out until my lovely Aunt introduced me to a group of young ladies like myself, this was not something that I was used to and I felt like I didn’t even belong there but I gave it a chance. I allowed them into my life and since then life has been bearable. I learned that in life, you shouldn’t be afraid to accept help, you shouldn’t be afraid to tell your story – to the right people of course. You never know who’s listening and what they can do for you. Once I opened my heart, I started to grow, I started to change. Once I decided to be humble and to listen, I realized that I do not have to be a victim. As we speak I am able to carry-on with my studies because I got a bursary through the She Phoenix Femme Phoenix organization and I am taking care of myself and my son. All this wouldn’t have been possible if I didn’t accept help, if I didn’t open my mouth, if I wasn’t humble and if I didn’t listen. No matter what you are going through, no matter how big it is, there is always a way out. Do not be afraid to accept help. When we go through tough times, we pray to God to send help and when he does we reject it because it’s not the help we had in mind. However, salvation comes in different ways and from different people. Also, we should always remember that no man is an island. The reason God placed us around others is because he knew that sometimes where our problems start is where our logic ends. At times when I face troubles, I often find that I can’t think. My brain seems to freeze and I have a strong impression that it won’t get better than this. It’s at those times, that I seek guidance. I speak about how I’m feeling and then I listen and I act. It always works for me because I have managed to keep only quality people in my life. A quality person is a person who adds value into your life, one who you can trust and depend on. Quality people do not bring you down, they do not make you feel bad about yourself, they do not abuse you. A quote that I like says, “sometimes holding on does more damage than letting go”, attached to this quote are two images – the first is of a hand that has been holding on so hard to a rope that his hand is red, bruised and aching. The second image is that same hand but now it has let go of that rope and the bruises and aching are healing. From this, I learned that often we keep people in our lives simply because we love them so much, we think that letting them go will kill us, it will hurt us, we can’t live without them. While the truth is that keeping toxic people in your life does more damage than letting them go. I am still in the process of learning to deny those who hurt me access to me. People will treat you the way you allow them to and once you know your worth and refuse to be hurt and mishandled that’s when you will not allow anyone who treats you badly to continue to have access to you, cut them off. It might hurt but the reward is great.”
H. Masasu – A teenage mother
“We all have a past, but how it influences our present and our future is up to us.”
– Eva Arissani
Becoming
“When I fell pregnant 25 years ago, I was then 14 years old, I certainly did not believe that there would be a life after teenage pregnancy. The minute I realized I was pregnant, I got that stomach-churning sensation that carried on for so many years. Every morning, I would wake up anxious and scared for my future. I got acquainted with the ugly faces of Denial, Rejection and Judgment, that I saw every time I dared looking at people’s eyes. Every single day felt like a punishment. I never knew if I would get to see a new day. Every breath I was taking was painful. I got so aware of my situation that I even forgot I was a child having a child…You know the feeling of carrying the world on your shoulder? That feeling of being cornered and not knowing who to turn to? I felt that way for many years. I got condemned and silenced so much so that I metaphorically lost my voice…and almost literally lost my life. I grew up at the speed of light. It took a leap of faith for me to carry on living. Over the years, I was blessed to meet incredible people, such as my husband who positively impacted my life. Through their love and support, I learned to accept my past, I learned to heal, I learned to trust, I learned to work on myself, I learned to believe in me and eventually I learned to BECOME. Life trials and tribulations, unexpectedly, made me find my own voice and become an overcomer. Finding my voice was not an easy process after years and years of hurt. It is only when I took the decision to revisit my past and take control of it that I made the switch. I found inspiration, motivation and strength in knowing that God had endowed us with incredible powers. I started developing a growth mindset and eventually became the person I am today. Once I found my voice, I found my purpose. I took the conscious decision to become unstoppable, unshakable and to be a voice for the voiceless. Having walked in the shoes of a teenage mother, I know how hectic life can be for the young mother and the child. The good news is that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I am the living proof that it is possible to get from where you are to where you want to be. Through God’s grace, I get to experience inner peace, joy and prosperity. Through His grace, I get to serve through She Phoenix Femme Phoenix, a Non-Profit Organization that I co-founded and initiated with the aim to restore lives one girl at a time. Today, I am here to tell you that whatever you may be going through, just know that you can make the impossible possible.”
Eva Arissani, Co-Founder, Executive Director & Initiator of SPFP
You have a voice, find it and in the process, you will find your purpose.
Eva Arissani Nkoulou Ella
Contributor (Her Story Matters), Published Author, Translation expert, Entrepreneur, Philanthropist, Female Civility Ambassador, Greatness Engineering Ambassador, Girl Child’s Champion, Accredited Webfluential Creator
