We are NOT victims

Excerpts taken from my book –
“Hello World it’s Me: A transformational Journey to Freedom”

Adultery is one of the worst things that can happen to a marriage, or is it?

Well, I can agree that it violates everything you’ve built with your partner in such a painful way. Many of you feel you have been a victim of an adulterous affair. You didn’t see it coming! No sign that anything was wrong. You were blindsided, and before you could even process what was happening, you were involved emotionally, physically or both with a person other than our spouse. For me, infidelity felt like death. The fatal blow was that my ex-husband thought while married to me, that he’d finally found the person that God had intended for him to be with all along.


The thought of filling in “space” until she showed up was heart-wrenching. Once he was convinced that he married me, the “wrong” person, divorce was inevitable. As heartbreaking as it was, I knew I must move on. Emotionally I could not see the light behind the cloud. Most days, I spent rehearsing what I could have done differently to prevent this nightmare from occurring. I realized it was nothing that I did, it was his own personal choice. Some might say he was deceived by the ‘devil’. Was it really the ‘devil’? Instead of taking ownership for the wrong we’ve done, we tend to place blame, on a powerless external force. The ‘devil,’ well, I choose not to believe in an external force that has power to control and dictate my life. No external being, except for the power of my mind can harm me. There is a Power and a Presence which guides my actions and leads my feet as I align myself with Higher Thoughts. That power is me; I am the source of my choices and not a victim of divorce or anything else that has happened to be that doesn’t feel good to my ego. There are no bad or good things, there are just things, the emotions we attached to thoughts makes them good or bad. Getting back to my ex-husband, he made a choice with only himself in mind. His choice which stems from his own heart, changed the trajectory of our entire family. His mind was so warped at that time, he went as far as mentioning to our children that I was never his wife. Oddly, I can say, I agree. Our souls meaning our subconscious mind were never connected. We weren’t vibrating on the same frequency. Together, but not happily married, not my soul mate and damn sure not my twin flame. I can’t say I didn’t shed a few tears while laying awake at night asking “god what I thought then an external who had the answers to my why? The answers had been within me all along. When the subconscious beliefs we believe about ourselves and are out of alignment with the things and experiences we want in our conscious minds (and heart). It creates confusing conflicts between what were trying to create and what we are actually creating. It’s like driving with one foot on the gas and the other on the brakes. Here’s an example: Conscious Mind: I want to write a book and travel the world talking about it. Subconscious Mind: no one wants to hear what I have to say. You: still looking at social media live the life you dreamed. Or Conscious Mind: I am hot and sexy and want to have sex. Subconscious Mind: getting emotionally attached to anyone like that is too painful and I don’t have time for pain. You: sex life a big fat zero inserts (yawns)

Then A Light Bulb Came On:

Why was I decrying to god to restore a marriage with someone who obviously did not ever want nor love me. That very moment I snapped out of the pit of feeling sorry for myself. No more playing the victim! It was the “aha” moment I needed to transform myself, into a better version of me. The experience was far less demeaning that the lie I continued to rehearse. From that day, I dug deep in the transformation you know, doing the shadow work on my soul and studying the mind and what causes it to be dis-eased out of harmony.

At this point, I was mentally dis-eased, and disconnected from my real self. It was then I discovered we shape our reality and frame our future, with negative and positive thoughts about ourselves. We unconsciously shape who we are by the thoughts we produce. Producing wrong thoughts gives us painful results. The mind is the greatest motherboard, it stores for future usage everything that is input into it. Our minds at times requires a reboot in order to operate properly.

Medical authorities tell us that certain organs of the body are self-renewing. That it is a puzzle to them how these parts never wear out. If you had a sewing machine that constantly replaced the little particles worn away by friction, would that machine ever be destroyed? A healthy, man’s body has this power of replacing worn parts, and when it is in harmony, it never wears out. This harmony refers to self-adjustment to the law of being, to the law of divine nature, and to the law of God.

It does not matter what you call this fundamental principle underlying all life: the important thing is to understand it, and to put yourself in harmony with it. Changing your thoughts from feeling sorry for yourself, remove self-pity, cease from worry, and self-rejection. Transform your mind, body, and spirit into divine harmony with your Higher conscious Self. You are a free will Hue-man doing – The freedom you have, as a human, to make decisions for yourself. You have the power of choice and bear the responsibility of those choices, purpose, and intent of life. The first thing to do riding yourself of limiting subconscious belief is to become aware of them, until you become aware of them, you’ll continue to work with the conscious mind like a wall painted over multiple time instead of solving the problem that underneath. You can fix whatever problem that lies underneath the subconscious believe. The moment you start the process of fixing the subconscious mind (the soul), you realize that you have never been a victim of anyone, you have always been an active participant in your conscious reality. Once you start awakening, you realize, the world is our big stage were directors, producers,’ writers, actors, editors, and creatives. There are no victims. I have the power of choice. I subconsciously chose thought which in becomes the life were experiencing in our conscious reality. Before we do anything, a thought form within is entertain and if the thought is not controlled it become our reality. When I awake in the morning, I hear within the need to release, my feet take me where my thoughts have already been. Many folks, who don’t heal their trauma relive the life of the past. There is not good or bad. There are only experiences. It’s the emotions we have about what happened to us that keeps many stuck. Take away the emotions, the experience become a thing that never happened. We live in a universe of give and receive; breath and exhale, live and die, suck and awesome, stagnated and evolving. Each side depends on the other and each is relative to the other, every action has an equal and opposite reaction, so the more you give the more you receive. And vice versa. Changing your thoughts changes your reality. The more I think in the positive the better my life is and the greater changes I have to create my desire conscious reality. I can create anything I want right now, but I have to really want it. The first indicator of desire is “close my mouth”, my words frame my reality. Stop talking negative about your life and focus on what you enjoy about what you do and in the space you’ve decided to do it. Decide that you live an awesome, relaxed life full of interesting projects that you love doing and communicate that to the world and yourself. And then go out and merrily do it.


Author profile
Angela Y Ervin
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Angela is a Speaker, Author and Entrepreneur. She is a six time author and CEO of Girl she has spent more that 25 years empowering and transforming the lives of men and women across the United States, she is increasingly becoming a respected voice in the realm of healing, life transformation, social development and empowerment.


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